T-minus 80 days until graduation. Despite what a very assuming saleswoman that I’m not currently holding a grudge against might think, I’m talking about college graduation from an accredited 4-year university (not high school, thank you very much). With this milestone comes the inevitable bombardment of curious family members, acquaintances and people you wish you didn’t have to make small talk with asking, “So what’s next?”
NONE OF US KNOW.
You were here once, weren’t you? Do you not remember being so excited to never have to pay for another textbook (disregard that looming pile of student debt) and to plan your new fabulous fictitious fantasy of a life in some distant city where you can leave all memories of Scantrons and riveting 2-hour lectures on rocks (miss you, Geology 1400) behind? So excited that you forgot that adulthood most likely (read: definitely) isn’t just peaches and cream? (Not one hundo p sure that peaches and cream even sounds all that enticing, but that’s how the saying goes so I’ll roll with it.)
This is why all the feels that come along with graduation make the whole event a juxtaposition–there’s the initial excitement of freedom, independence, accomplishment, opportunity. But we also can’t shake the pure terror of being on our own, the unknown, failure, BILLS. And it doesn’t help to be reminded of all we dread when asked, “What’s next?” and you’re forced to peek out from the safe little it’s-senior-year-I’m-invincible-and-this-will-never-end cocoon you’ve constructed around yourself.
“Oh, you know… I’ll figure it out. We all do, right?” you respond with about as much confidence as you had before that Stats final. When in all reality you’re really thinking, DO WE ALL FIGURE IT OUT??? The answer to this: I sure hope so. We can go to all of our classes, fill out endless applications, complete a dozen internships, but what really determines where we’re going to end up? What’s the secret to making it in real life? None of us has the slightest clue, and that is one horrifying thought (especially to a Type A like me).
I suppose it’s comforting to know that the rest of our peers are in the same exact boat (ahoy, friends), but is it really? Everyone seems to have it a little more together than you do, but I can assure you they don’t. (I can’t really assure you this, but it’s making me feel better so I’m going to keep typing.) Your friend who has three jobs, an internship with that super cool company, and is in 40 different extra-curriculars–behind that seamless façade? Someone as scared as you are.
Does anyone else feel like Troy Bolton should be breaking out in song right about now?
Well, I won’t pretend to know much but I do know some things (apart from a concerning amount of Harry Potter trivia). We’ve all gotten this far, haven’t we? If not, you wouldn’t be reading this right now.
We’ve gotten through painful all-nighters, failing grades on exams, fights with close friends, words we wish we could take back, words we wish we would have said, mistakes that seemed like the end of the world, heartbreak from a first love. What lies ahead can’t be any worse. And if it is? We’ll get through that mess, too. Like I said, we’re all in the same boat, and, planner here, I have life rafts on life rafts on deck if you need one.
College is fun (or whatever), but I’m ready for what life has lined up for me. It’s scary not knowing what that might mean for my future, but that’s half the fun (or so I tell myself). The other half is figuring out how to deal with the punches life throws at you, fighting back (good thing I took that self-defense class) and being able to gloat as reigning champ of owning yourself and your own outcome.
So what’s next? Fly by the seat of my pants. Do everything in my power to end up where I want to be until I’m there. And if that means being in a studio apartment by myself with only a single piece of furniture to my name and living off cereal for a few years until I do finally figure it out, I can handle that. Because, damn, I love cereal and I have big dreams for myself.
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